Monday, August 22, 2011

A Family Outing

Nick and I decided to take C and his friend from school to King's Dominion this past Friday and overall it was a wonderful day.  As with any trip, we had a few hiccups and a few highlights.  I'd like to share a couple of these with you.

I love Nick and I'm about to explain why in a couple sentences.  I am relatively intolerant of other people's kids when they are ill mannered.  Nick makes me look like the patron saint of patience.  While waiting for one of our first rides, a child of about 15-16 wanted to appear to be using oral tobacco products (aka dip) and so to make the appearance realistic, he found it necessary to spit all over the walk way and railing where everyone was trudging along and leaning as they waited patiently in line for their turn on The Grizzly.  Folks, it wasn't just a drop or two.  The kid was spitting enough to make Pavlov's dogs jealous.  I was wondering if he had an issue with his salivary glands because no normal person would produce that much spit whether using a tobacco product or not.  Well me being me, I figured if I just bitched loudly enough that they could catch the general idea of what was being said and hoped that the words "No son, it's just that his mother didn't raise him better" would be enough of a hint for the kid to stop spitting all over the place.  Not one for subtlety, Nick speaks up and says "Hey kid, how about you stop fuckin' spittin' all over the place where people are walking?"  As you may suspect, the kid refrained from spitting on The Grizzly and, apparently scared straight, he wasn't spitting in the line of the next ride we saw him in several hours later either.  I was deathly afraid that this was going to be a trend for the rest of the day.  Kid acts stupid.  Nick tells them why they are stupid.  Fortunately, this was an isolated incident and Nick didn't have to straighten anyone else out for the rest of the day (myself included.)

After the issue of the spitting kid was resolved, we were free to move on with our day.  Nick is great to ride roller coasters with.  I talk a lot.  I know this.  I don't need anyone to tell me.  On the total opposite end of the spectrum is Nick.  He is generally a fairly quiet man.  However, for some reason he wants to have a full conversation with me as the roller coaster is zooming around a track.  I'm being jostled to the point of acquiring black eyes and a concussion, screaming my face off, and Nick is talking to me about the roller coaster, his future plans, and whatever else comes to mind in that 3 minutes and 46 seconds.  I don't want this to change.  It's just an observation.  If I want to know what's going on with Nick, take him on a roller coaster.

At some point in the day, I decided it was best to blame all my insane screaming on Nick.  It's not like the people in front or behind us can actually see what's going on.  They just hear screaming as if someone is being stabbed to death in a cart near them.  So when the cart stopped rolling, I would exclaim "NICK!  IS ALL THAT SCREAMING REALLY NECESSARY?"  to which Nick answered "DAMN IT WOMAN!  I WILL BEAT YOU!" and everyone in all the carts around us broke up laughing hysterically.  

Another favorite moment for me was riding the Intimidator with C.  For some reason, this roller coaster scares the beejezus out of C.  I'm not sure if it's the part where you are cruising up a 305 foot hill at an extremely steep incline or if its the part where you really can't see what's coming up next or if it's the part where you drop 290-some-odd feet at close to 100 mph but what ever it is, it scares the crap out of little C.  Well, for every other roller coaster in the park, C had been a brave trooper.  He rode with his friend.  For this one, he insisted on riding with his dear old mom.  As we were going up the hill, C's eyes got about as big as saucers and he began to have a full blown panic attack.  My son started screaming "OH MY GOD! WE'RE GONNA DIE!" at the top of his lungs when we were roughly 250 feet in the air.  A great mother probably would've had some great thing to say that would make it all better.  I'm apparently not that mother.  When he freaks out like that, he freaks me out too.  I looked over at him after we had made the gigundous plummet to the Earth and he screamed "Woooohoooo!"  

So anyway, that sums up the major events of our day at Kings Dominion.  First, Nick loves kids that spit. Second, Nick screams on roller coasters, and lastly, C loves the Intimidator. 

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