First, Suzy is a Jack Russell Terrier. The Chihuahua in her is inconsequential. She looks like a Jack Russell Terrier. She acts like a Jack Russell Terrier. Therefore, for all intents and purposes, she is a Jack Russell Terrier. Second, we are NOT Jack Russell Terriers so Suzy has infinitely more energy than anyone else in our household. We sent my offspring to play with Suzy outside once and, ten minutes later, he came back with the ball, sweaty and panting, asking to please go inside. Suzy stood in the yard wondering who was going to play with her next. To tire her out, we decided to try sending Suzy out with Nick on a run. Suzy was wiped out for a good hour or two afterward. Nick was wiped out for a solid week. Now we just take her into the backyard and get her really excited until she runs frantic circles around everyone and then eventually collapses. It works for us. It works for her.
Another characteristic of Suzy (and of most Jack Russell Terriers from what I understand) is that she is smarter than most people. Suzy "treat" trains like a champ. Most maneuvers only require 4-5 repetitions and she's got it. This is a far cry from Brutus the Chinese Crested who, after saying his name daily for months, I'm quite confident would've answered to "Kitty" and had no idea who the hell "Brutus" was. Assuming it would be a futile gesture, I never attempted "sit" or "down" or "stay." Brutus is cute but we'll just say his bulb is pretty dim.
You may be wondering why the "Suzy is smart" thing is an issue. Well, Suzy has a diabolical mind and she is evil. Suzy screws with Nick and Christian because she can. Me, she seems to like. Nick thinks she and I are in cahoots so I spend a disproportionate amount of time in trouble. Suzy prefers to jump on balls. Not the rollie kind that get fetched... the kind you really don't want jumped on... the kind I don't have. If Suzy jumps on the couch, she's aiming for gonads. Somehow, telepathically, I tell her to do this.
Nick also seems to believe that I ask Suzy to position her rear end on his arm as she lays next to him. After all the crap that we have been through with Nick's shoulder, I would never risk harm to Nick's arm like that. Suzy's anus could wilt plastic flowers. Suzy is 10 pounds of tiny dog capable of producing the most noxious flatulence ever experienced by man. It's not my fault that I fan it away from myself. I'm certainly not going to sit there and marinade. By the time Nick realizes what has happened, he yells "Oh Jesus!" jumps up, and runs from the room. Then when the room has cleared and Suzy's trying to figure out what happened, she lets out an impressive burp that vibrates the glass in the window panes. Nick and I stare on in disbelief that such a cute and graceful little dog could be so offensive. Suzy lays back down and resumes licking her feet.
Nick and I have spent a few nights discussing whether or not the eviction story was true. I have my own theory. I believe the owners chose not to keep Suzy because she is a handful. She is a bundle of energy and the gas thing is enough to evoke fear in the faint of heart but we love her. If you have no experience with dogs and are not a critter person, Suzy would NOT be the dog for you. She would alpha dog out on you and make you her bitch. With the right amount of discipline, however, she is a total goofball and manages to fit right in with our family (except for the gas thing... we all still run from the room while yelling "Damn it, Suzy!")
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