Today some poor bastard made the mistake of calling my cell phone and asking to speak to Nick. The first error came in dialing my number. The second was in asking for Nick. Since Nick and I live together and, as such, he has to hear all my bitching about telemarketers calling and asking for him, it's highly unlikely that he would torture himself by giving out my phone number just for giggles. If Nick wants to talk to someone, one would suspect that Nick would give them HIS number rather than handing out mine.
As usual, upon direct questioning a gentleman with a foreign accent suspiciously named "Bob" refused to disclose how he had acquired my telephone number. He stated he was with the "Fitness Research Marketing Firm" and that he could only speak with Mr. Deatherage. "Boob" and I went round and round about this detail for several minutes and he seemed to fail to grasp the facts that a) he was calling the wrong number to speak with "Mr. Deatherage" and b) hell would freeze over before I would provide him with the right number.
In closing our conversation, I asked Boob to remove my phone number from their database and he let me know that he would try back for Nick later. Seriously? Did this guy drink from the really good flask before he left for work this morning? What part of "you have the wrong number if you are trying to reach Nick" and "take my number out of your database" did this jackass fail to understand? I wished him good luck with that one.
There is only one company that we have recently associated my phone number with Nick's name and if, in my super scattered brain, I can remember who it is, I will never buy so much as a one cent piece of candy from them again. So take that.
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